25 Marriage Tips for Christian Couples
Last year, my husband and I celebrated 25 years of marriage together. We went all out for it too. By that I mean we went to Olive Garden for dinner. No, I’m kidding. I couldn’t resist.
Back to my point. We got married at 19 and 22 years of age and so there was a lot of learning to do along the way. I will admit that this list does not include everything I have learned, but it’s a decent start and it includes a few of the most important lessons for me. I’m not going to expand on this list with lots of examples because it would probably be a book at that point. Hmmm. That’s an idea to table for later. 🙂
My tips really need no explanation because they are pretty self-explanatory. So here goes…
Marriage Tip #1
I am not perfect so perfection should not be expected from my husband. Lower expectations.
Marriage Tip #2
Living out intentional forgiveness is a must, every single day. Choose to forgive.
Marriage Tip #3
Just because I am passionate about something, does not mean my husband has to be passionate about it also in order to support me.
Marriage Tip #4
It is okay to disagree about some things. Do not avoid your differences. Talk about them and work towards balance and understanding.
Marriage Tip #5
The thing that communicates my love for my husband may be different than what I think communicates love to him. The ways that he needs me to show love may be different than what I think I am already doing. Hint: A great book that will help you to understand each other’s love languages is called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. You can also take the quiz to find your love languages too!
Marriage Tip #6
My husband does not have to apologize to me in order for me to choose forgiveness. However, if he does apologize, I should be gracious in my acceptance of the apology and him.
Marriage Tip #7
There is so much more value than I ever realized in having a husband that has the same foundational faith beliefs that I have. I absolutely can not imagine going through some of the experiences we have been through, without sharing that foundation. It is easier to support each other spiritually when we are engaged in our own personal relationship with God. When I am weak, he is strong and vice versa. We all have our moments and sometimes these ebb and flow, just like anything else.
Marriage Tip #8
It’s okay to be flexible in relationship roles when life changes.
Marriage Tip #9
Just because my husband does things differently, doesn’t mean he does them wrong. Ouch! I know, this one hurt me too!
Marriage Tip #10
My husband and I communicate very differently. By the way, if you and your spouse struggle with heated arguments, you should check out The Time Out Strategy for Couples that Works!
Marriage Tip #11
My relationship with God has to come first in my priority list, and my husband is an intentional second to that. This does not mean that I don’t love my kids and don’t take care of them. Of course, I do. They are all my blessings, whom I love and cherish dearly in different ways.
Marriage Tip #12
I have to be intentional in my positive thoughts about myself, my husband, and my marriage. Yep. Daily affirmations are a must. Our thoughts will drive our actions.
Marriage Tip #13
I am responsible for what I contribute to my marriage, good and bad. When I have wronged my husband I should willingly admit and apologize. It’s not always his fault when something goes wrong.
Marriage Tip #14
I am responsible for my desire and ability to give my husband my full 100% effort.
Marriage Tip #15
Weddings are beautiful. New cars are awesome. So is being debt-free. Common goals are important to keep us focused on our finances. Visual reminders of goals are very helpful to keep us on track and working.
Marriage Tip #16
I should have taken more pictures of the two of us after the kids were born. Looking back at “family photos” I realized I have tons of my kids, and maybe even a lot with my husband with the kids, but next to none that includes myself. And guess what? Even fewer that have just the two of us as a couple. I take more pictures now.
Marriage Tip #17
Monthly date nights (at a minimum) are non-negotiable. Use your date nights to build up fun and positive interactions in your relationship. This is not the time to discuss challenges you are facing currently. Only fun topics and activities allowed. Put that important topic in the bucket for a discussion another time because date night is not it.
Marriage Tip #18
Love notes are still affirming 25 years later.
Marriage Tip #19
Treat your spouse better than strangers.
Marriage Tip #20
Pray for your spouse and with your spouse daily.
Marriage Tip #21
Travel together without kids sometimes.
Marriage Tip #22
Have daily random chats in whatever way possible. Here are 75 Conversation Starters to get you chatting away!
Marriage Tip #23
Intimacy is more important than you will ever truly understand and I’m not only talking about physical closeness and sex here (although that is part of it). It requires me to be intentional in my own actions, and not just wait on him to make all the plans. If you are interested in this, then I have an Intimacy Challenge to Transform Your Marriage that you will want to read!
Marriage Tip #24
Stop blaming each other. You are both at fault somewhere along the way and you are on the same team, so stop looking for them.
Marriage Tip #25
You are teaching your kids what marriage is supposed to look like. Need help with this? Check out Create Brilliant Healthy Habits in Marriage for lots of suggestions and ideas to help you create a healthier relationship to model for them.
There is always something new to learn in marriage if you keep your eyes open.
No matter where you are in your marriage journey, whether you are just beginning or have 50 or more years under your belt, I think it’s wonderful that we can all learn from each other.
If marriage has been difficult for you, I would love to work with you. I can help you come up with a plan to meet your goals. You can find out more what I do at Truly Resilient.